In the lead up to Christmas, we’re guaranteed to see similar versions of Santa Claus everywhere all equipped with white beards, red Christmas bags and sleigh carrying reindeers.
But Before exploring our range of black Santa Clause Christmas wrapping paper HERE, we take a look at 8 different characteristics if Santa Clause were black.
- ALL PRESENTS DELIVERED BY MIDDAY
The usual story goes that Santa clause delivers presents during the night of Christmas eve, however that scheduling doesn’t work for the Black Santa Clause. You see midnight mass starts promptly at 12:00am which means they need to be in church at 11:00pm to find a front row seat and partake in carolling. Therefore, all Christmas gifts will be delivered by midday on Christmas eve leaving enough time for midnight mass preparations.
- ENTERING THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR
Climbing down a dusty chimney is an absolute no for two main reasons. Firstly, black Santa does not have the energy or patience to be pulling off such stunts. Secondly Santa also does not have time for queries or confusion from noisy onlookers who may assume they're entering unlawfully. For this reason, the black Santa will politely knock on the front door ensuring the homeowners allows them in willingly. This saves Black Santa time, energy, stress and most importantly a visit from the police. Remember they have midnight mass to attend.
- THE NEW TESTAMENT INSTEAD OF COAL.
Whilst the classic Santa gives out lumps of coal as punishment to naughty children the black Santa clause opts for a more pragmatic approach by giving naughty children a copy of the New Testament bible. Whilst coal is a quick fix punishment, a copy of the New Testament is something those little scallywags can read and learn from over the course of the next 12 months with the hope it’ll straighten them out before the next Christmas period.
4. NAUGHTY OR NICE LIST
Normally Santa’ naughty or nice list is based off things like your behaviour, manners and politeness, the black Santa goes a bit deeper in their assessment. Whilst things like behaviour and manners is considered, the black Santa look at the child's academical performance by retrieving a copy of their school report. If it appears the child has been playing the class clown, not facing their books and getting bad grades then a copy of the New Testament is pretty much guaranteed. In rare cases, the black Santa may consult with the child’s priest/pastor on how many times the child has attended church over the last 12 months.
5. MALT, PLANTAIN CRISPS & PEANUTS.
Traditional customs have children leaving treats like milk, cookies and candy cane for Santa to indulge in during delivery. However, the black Santa requires a combination of malt, peanuts and plantain crisps etc. Whilst mince pies is an another acceptable treat to leave out for black Santa, if children really want to go the extra mile, they can leave some meat pies or a plate of assorted meats. Black Santa would be most grateful.
- CHRISTMAS LETTERS VIA WHATSAPP
In the run up to Christmas, children inform Santa of their Christmas wish list by sending a handwritten letter to the north pole. In a move for better efficiency, the black Santa will only accept wish lists via WhatsApp which saves Santa time on having to open up so much mail. Additionally, if Santa needs to send out updates this can be done via a broadcast as opposed to sending out individual letters. Lastly for all the naughty kids, WhatsApp allows black Santa to send them bible verse and scriptures throughout the year.
7. CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN INSTEAD OF ELVES
Black Santa isn’t really too keen on working with elves who make all the christmas toys, in fact the black Santa barely knows what an elf is. As a replacement Black Santa will employ the services of their children and grandchildren to help with the making of toys. Whilst this may seem like an immense task these same kids have swept houses from top to bottom, washed the toughest pots and pans, picked black eye beans and pushed heavy trolleys during Saturday morning shopping. The children will be fine.
8. LOCATION OF NORTH POLE
The North pole is the usual location of Santa’ famous workshop however such a location is out of the question for the black Santa as the North Pole is cold, far away and most importantly plantain is not sold there. Unfortunately, the exact location of Black Santa’s workshop is still unknown although it is speculated that the workshop is situated in either Abuja (North Nigeria), Ocho Rios (North Jamaica) or North London (England).
We hope this light hearted post bought you some laughter, a smile and joy. Don’t forget to add some character and bring your gifts to life with our range of black Santa wrapping paper and greeting cards available to purchase right now in our SHOP
MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!